Blondes Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out the W's.

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
100 - one to stir and 99 to peel the M&M's.

What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.

Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
They have to pull their own pants down.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Why do blondes have more fun?
Because they don't know any better.
They are easier to keep amused.

Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.

Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
More leg room.

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

What do most blondes have against condoms?
Their cheeks.

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
The winner of a "Hide and Seek" game.

Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
They keep falling out.

How does a blonde hemophiliac treat herself?
Acupuncture.

Why does a blonde eat beans on Saturday?
So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.

Why didn't the blonde vote?
She didn't care who got in.

Why was the blonde housewife mad at her husband?
He was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.

Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
She wanted to stop having grandchildren.

Why was the blonde two hours late getting home?
The escalator got stuck.

Why did the blonde stay up all night studying?
She had a urine test the next day.

How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
 
What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
"Interpreter."

What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
"Are all you guys on the same team?"



How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
There's "White-Out" all over the screen.